Why “A Spiritual Badass”?

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Well, because I’m in love with my Higher Power AND I still have a potty mouth. I treasure my time in stillness, and I still love rock and roll. I live for deep personal connections, and I still have a rowdiness in me.

I refer to my Higher Power as “The Holy Spirit”, it’s what fits for me.

This is a big step for me, to write “out loud”. I’ve been hard on myself that I’m not a “writer” per-say. My image of being a writer was one of perfect order. Bathed, dressed, with a pep in my step by 8 in the morning, sitting down at my perfectly tidy desk, to begin my systematic, disciplined writing process of pounding out words on a keyboard for hours at a time. 

This is so not me, and has caused me a lot of (self imposed) grief, feeling like I just didn’t have what it takes and never would. This decades long belief has held me hostage and kept me from moving forward. I believed I had to be perfect, disciplined and have my shit together in every area of my life before I could be a writer. I allowed my ego to keep it’s grip on me, and make a false image of how I should be. My attachment to the “form” blinded me straight into procrastination, which only cemented my hopelessness.

The unraveling of this belief has taken its sweet time. But with much desire, reflection and support from my beautiful tribe of women, I now say screw it!

It is with great joy that I have finally embraced the fact that I AM a writer, I DO write. I always write. Every single day I write. Only my process involves a one hundred year old rocking chair, pyjamas, and dogs on my lap, journaling long hand in any blank notebook I can find.

No more, do I think I need to be someone I’m not.

“For the person who has learned to let go and let be, nothing can ever get in the way again.” -Meister Eckhart

It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. –A Course in Miracles, W361